I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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