i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
