i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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