she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
