Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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