dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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