Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
