My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
