I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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