I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
