she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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