im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize