I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
