return my video game
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
