Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
