Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My liver just had a heart attack.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
