Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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