U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
