how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm both gender and math confused
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize