im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
