girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
