i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
