shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
