We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
