Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
