i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
