happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
