just survived the first fart of the relationship.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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