he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
