mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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