the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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