And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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