Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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