i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
