I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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