he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
