YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize