I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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