Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
