I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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