WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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