This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Farmville is her only friend.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
