Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
