It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
