"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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