Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
