Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
its liver damage thursday
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
