thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
