i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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