ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
