I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
tell me about the fingering
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