just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
