I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
