You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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