i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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