she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
