I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize