So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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