I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
