Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
