i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
