I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
