just come out here and I will go home with you...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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