You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
