So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
