Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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